Thank you for reading a little about me! I have been married to the sweetest man for almost 16 years! We have 4 babies. They are my world!
I grew up in a small town in Northern Iowa. I was a happy girl with the most supportive, loving family. They believed in me much greater than I ever believed in myself. I am a perfectionist (to a fault sometimes) & being a perfectionist has always held me back. I would fear I not being perfect so I wouldn’t even try.
Everything changed when I was 19. Before that time, I never felt overweight or worried about what I ate in the least bit. When I was 19 I was in a relationship with someone that when he would drink he would say terribly mean things to me. Today I now understand his problem with alcohol was deep. He would tell me I was fat, ugly & specially name girls that he said were pretty unlike me. I learned how words have power. How you need to fight against those words.
Unfortunately, I didn’t learn it until much later in life. From that point on I struggled with many different forms of distorted eating. I have done almost every diet on the market. I have taken fat burners; I have gone weeks without eating anything at all then I would go into a cycle of binge eating. I would eat to the point of being sick. All the time. When I was sad I would eat. When I was happy I would eat. When I was stressed I would eat. I would lose weight & gain weight. This was my life for 15 years. Yes, 15 years!!
In 2009 this was a pivotal time in our life. We were going through a lot. More stress than I could have ever imagined going through in my whole life. At first I crumbled. I ate my feelings. I cried. I had major anxiety all the time. During this time, we lost 2 babies. I know it was due to the amount of stress my body was under. That takes us to 2011. Praise GOD we gave birth to our 4th baby, a healthy little boy. I was learning how to survive when everything was out of control. I started having severe panic attacks that would wake me up out of a deep sleep. In 2012 I felt like I wasn’t in control of anything around me. At this point in my life I was the unhealthiest I had ever been. Being so stressed out for years gave me the excuse to eat whenever I was sad, worried or anxious. I was the heaviest I had even been in my life. I started a new diet. I stuck to my diet & lost 50lbs on this diet. I didn’t workout once the whole diet. I kept the weight off & stuck to the same foods I ate to keep me where I was. I had lists of foods I would never eat because those foods were the “bad” foods for me.
In 2014 I came across Jessi Jean on Instagram. I was shocked at how she looked so amazing eating what she was eating. I just watched. I was inspired to start running to try to achieve that “toned” body as lifting was something I had never once done & was very intimidating. I would run my little heart out. I decided one day to explore past the treadmills at the gym. With my husband’s help he taught me many things in the gym. I felt good & confident. I would wake up every day with extreme anxiety. Most mornings I woke up shaking. I would head straight to the gym before my babies would wake up & my anxiety would leave.
I was still following Jessi on IG & decided to reach out to her for help in April 2015. I started tracking macros for the first time in my life. Mind blown. Life changed. It took me a good 6 months to fully believe that I could eat the things I love & still make progress towards my goals. I started crossing foods off my bad list that I was finally eating again. I started my journey with a reverse diet to repair my metabolism from years of dieting. I reversed for almost a year. The confidence I built during that time was amazing. At age 36 I decided to prep for my first competition with the WBFF. Did I ever think about doing something like this? NEVER. I did it. Twice!! Me, a mom of 4 stood on that stage free of binge eating & free of restriction. I was honored to receive 1st place in my 2nd completion with the WBFF! I was also welcomed into the pro family as a new WBFF fitness pro. Such an honor.
I am beyond thankful for all I have gone through to bring me to the place I am today. Life hasn’t been easy, but it has defiantly turned me into a fighter and lead me to becoming a coach and mentor to others. A gift born out of the struggle.